Congratulations! This is an exciting time for you, sharing your love with the world
for the first time forever. Here are some great tips on how to plan your grand affair:
Watch Four Weddings marathons each weekend. Steal ideas from your favorites. Mock the losers. (Those tacky bitches have nothing on you.)
Post every single wedding-related thought on Facebook. This includes articles about preparing to be a wedding guest (“Take notes, people!”), excerpts from Dickinson poems, and pictures of your engagement ring amid a variety of backgrounds (“Look how it gleams at sunset!” “Reflection in the Bean!” “I <3 my fiance – oh weird I can’t get used to that!”)
Spend more time with your engaged friends than your single or married ones. If you don’t have any, make some at your local bridal expo. Single gals either won’t get your stress because they are jealous, haven’t met The One. Married women won’t support you because they are upset that your wedding is going to be so much better than theirs.
Pick a good wedding theme. I don’t know when weddings began to have themes, but clearly it’s important. Try something no one else has done. Did your groom like to play Cowboys and
Indians Native Americans as a kid? Why not try a Wild West theme!
Throw smaller events to prepare yourself for the Big Day. It’s sort of like how competitive eaters prepare their stomachs before a big competition by eating light meals to stretch out their gut. You will prepare for the stress and chaos of your wedding by throwing smaller parties for your engagement, bridal shower, bachelorette party, couples’ dinner party, meeting the in-laws, meeting the extended family, joining the social circles together, introducing your respective colleagues…