Tag Archives: 2012

Confessions In Case the World Ends Today

Posted on December 21, 2012 | Leave a comment

I brush my teeth in the shower. Don't knock it until you've tried it, guys. It's the ultimate time saving life hack.

I don't get football. I mean, I get it, but I don't get it get it. Get it?

Curling up in bed with something funny to watch or entertaining to read is more appealing than any party you've ever thrown. I'm sorry, but other than me, your friends aren't that cool to hang out with and I really appreciate comfort.

I totally think ghosts are a thing. I swear I get like three visits a night from one of those suckers.

I only follow you on social media because I haven't figured out a polite way to unfollow you yet. See confession number three, include yourself in the unappealing nature of your friends.

I enjoy the US X Factor. And I'd put money on Demi and Simon totally doing it.

I'd be perfectly happy if Taylor Swift disappeared from culture-at-large. Also: The Brothers Jonas, Dave Matthews Band, shrunken tuxedo jackets, and Facebook.

I was legitimately terrified of December 21, 2012 throughout my childhood. I had all sorts of theories how I would ended up living until the end of the world. I blame this on a youthful love of 20/20.

Fingers crossed we make it until December 22!

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Posted in Humor

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Quick Question while I Commute to Work:

Posted on November 28, 2012 | Leave a comment

These Furla bags look like something pre-teens everywhere wanted from the Limited Too circa 1996, right? (Doesn’t mean they’re not pretty awesome.)

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Posted in Girly Things

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Six Things the 2012 VMAs Taught Me

Posted on September 7, 2012 | 1 Comment

1. The 90s are officially back with a vengeance, y’all!

Tell me that Rihanna’s opening performance couldn’t be a Mary J., Lil’ Kim, Missy E, or TLC performance circa 1996. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

2. The music business is far more forgiving than I would be.

Then again, so are Chris Brown fans.

3. Shiny accents on pants are not flattering on men, either.

(For the life of me I couldn’t find a good picture of these pants. This can only mean that other people agree with me.)

4. Rebel Wilson is totes going on my role model list.

5. If Amy and Will are going to break my heart, I hope Rashida and Andy will fall in love forever and fill it.

6. If Taylor Swift decided to take a leave of absence from entertaining, I’d totally be okay with it.

She’s a lovely girl, really. I appreciate anyone who loves rocking a red lip.  That said, this new break up song of hers sounds an awful like every other break up song of hers. Her performance pitted girls against boys like every lunchroom your teenage ass ever ate in. Now she’s dating an 18-year-old; Kennedy or not, there’s a big difference between a high school senior and a 22-year-old woman. I’m guessing this isn’t the type of mature relationship that will really teach her about the world. Which is what she should do.

Take a break, Taylor! Go to college, backpack across Europe, work a drive thru window, I don’t know. Just do something that will expand your world. The worst thing that could happen is a shitty dorm room. The best thing that could happen is your horizons expand and your song writing material expands.

Please Taylor, expand your song writing material!

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Posted in Humor, Reviews

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The Real Olympic Question: Who is the Next Bruce Jenner?

Posted on August 8, 2012 | 2 Comments

The 2012 Olympics are almost over. Medals have been won and lost, tears shed, and histories made.  Who will be remembered fifty years from now? Who will make up for this years’ disappointments in Rio?

More importantly: who will serve as patriarch to the next first family of reality television?

Say what you will about Bruce Jenner, his plastic look, or emasculating marriage, homeboy was a champion:

And he was cute! Look at his Wheaties box!

So who is the athlete most likely to follow Jenner’s  face altering, motivational speaking, considers-retaking-dead-ex-husband’s-name-to capitalize-on-her-daughter’s-sex-tape-fame-marrying footsteps? Let’s meet the candidates:

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Posted in Humor

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London Olympics 2012: The Gingerletes

Posted on July 31, 2012 | Leave a comment

Once in high school a girl in my vague group of friends told me, word for word, “Gingers are ugly. All of them.” That doesn’t exactly have relevance to a discussion of the Olympics, but I felt that it was necessary to say in general.

Daniel Purvis, Men’s Artistic Gymnastics, Great Britain

If the commentators on NBC are to be believed (cue #NBCFail discussion), the medal count for host countries goes up 50% each Olympiad. I don’t know how that works out really, but the Great Britain gymnastic team apparently does. They became their country’s first men’s team to win any medal in the sport in 100 years. One hundred years. Even the princes William and Harry came to cheer on the team!

Daniel may be just one of five team members, but clearly the ginge added a little color to the team.

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Posted in Writes and Wrongs

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