So You’re Alone on Valentine’s Day.

I know that being single can be lonely and all around just suck. The phrase I’m going to die alone leaves my lips at least twice a week. Everyone around you is paired (or maybe even tripled, if you’re hanging with a certain segment of the GGG crowd) and you’re alone. Your friends are in love while you’re in the market for a fresh set of batteries.

I get it. Couples can get hit by a bus 99% of the time and we won’t shed more than a tear. We feel like that every day though, don’t we? So what makes Valentine’s Day different from the other 364 days of your single life? It just is. I’m not going to get into one of those diatribes about how we should share our love for one another every day because that’s just some hippie bullshit.

The truth is that today is different because by the end of it all of us – single and coupled – will end up miserable by midnight. Single people just start out that way.


I’m just saying, none of the beautiful couples you see holding hands over candlelight tonight are truly happy. At least one partner is thinking at least one of these things:

  • I can’t break up with someone on Valentine’s Day.
  • I should have dumped him before Valentine’s Day.
  • Shit. It’s Valentine’s Day. We’re on a date. Does this mean we’re serious? I don’t want to be serious.
  • I wonder if he’ll propose!
  • Why hasn’t he proposed yet?
  • Is Walgreen’s still open? They have flowers and chocolate.
  • God damn it he’s not proposing tonight.

At least one partner will be disappointed by their gift. At least one will be disappointed by their partner’s reaction to their gift. These are not necessarily different partners.

Roger is going to think of Mary while he sleeps with Rebecca. Janet is going to smile at Bobby but peek down the waitress’ blouse. 

One person is going to hate Valentine’s Day out of principle while the other is so damn happy to finally not be single on V Day that they’re wearing special hearts’n’lace underwear and edible pasties. They will get in a fight during appetizers and never get around to having sex tonight.

But you, single reader, are going to end the day the way you began it: wrapped in your blankets, bummed to be alone, but grateful for all the room you get without someone taking up space on the other side of the bed.

Also I borrowed this gif from sixohthree.

What do you think?