Best of 2014 | Single Forever

You’ve probably caught onto this by now, Dear Reader, but I’m not great with straight dudes. I rarely meet any – or at least not the kind with jobs or life goals or common decency – and if I do I immediately have an internal freak out and forget how to converse with humans.

I am really great at talking to men in whom I have no interest. Super awesome at picking ones who ask me for my prescription drugs in case they’ll make him feel all floaty. Fantastic at attracting the ones who require intimate knowledge of my bra size before they ask my first name. (Have we talked about the drag queen yet?)

Dating is, like, really hard, you guys.

I just want someone to tell me when and where to go, meet the guy, and eventually invite our mutual friend to the reception celebrating the elopement the dude and I will have after a reasonable amount of time. And really – the elopement is optional. What is a piece of paper anyway?

Project Fixup looks at how you describe yourself (I’m into general things like comedy and The West Wing, I’d prefer a college grad and don’t want to date a smoker) and not much else. It’s refreshing, honestly. Browse through their theme dates (board games, whiskey tasting, painting) and sign up! They’ll match you with someone else (heteros and homos welcome!) who signed up for the same date.

They even have double date events. You get matched, you bring a friend, your match brings a friend. Since 2014 is the Year of Yes, I signed up. Clearly this is the sort of thing I want to do with a partner, so I conned my (only single) friend, Hailey, into trying something new with me.

Our date is set for Sunday, March 2, at 6:00pm. That is, until Friday, when Project Fixup realizes there’s actually a bowling league until 8, so we’ll have to wait until then.

Naturally, Hailey and I decide we’re going to get dinner first.

Vintage bowling ad

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Things I Loved in 2014 | Sephora Buys

This weekend was a banner one for me. I didn’t do anything work-related! I wore something other than PJs every day! I went to Sephora and hit VIB Rouge status!

Shit.

That means I have spent way too much money on products in a calendar year. Well, at least I can share my terrifying knowledge with you, my People. Most of these products didn’t debut in 2014, but I spent my money on them in 2014 and, to me, it justifies a Best Of list. ‘Tis the season!

Sephora purchases

 

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Gifts for the Hostess

I’m jealous of domestic goddesses. Women who can sew more than a button. Cook more than reheated pizza. Blow dry their hair without frizz. Ok, that’s not really a domestic skill, but you see where I’m going.

No matter how many design blogs I read or event boards I follow on Pinterest, I don’t think I’ll move past the takeout and beer style of party hosting. These seem like things I might like if I ever grow up and throw a classy (read: no Solo cups) shindig one day.

Will you be gifting anything to the hostess with the mostess in your life?

Gifts for the hostess

 

1| This Govino Shatterproof Carafe might be a good transition between sippy cups and Waterford (available at Art Effect).

2 | Your favorite party planner can add a little funk to standard tea lights with a rose gold candle holder from CB2.

3 | Guys, they’re coasters. Made of glitter. Do we really need further explanation? (Kate Spade)

4 | A dinner party is truly next level once assigned seating gets involved. Only Jonathan Adler could pull off place card holders this cheeky.

5 | Etiquette says you should not add salt or pepper to anything until you’ve tasted it. I will not blame anyone who uses these Behead Over Heels shakers before the plates have even hit the table (on sale now at ModCloth).

6 | Decor really should set the tone, don’t you think? (Latte Design via Etsy)