You’ve probably caught onto this by now, Dear Reader, but I’m not great with straight dudes. I rarely meet any – or at least not the kind with jobs or life goals or common decency – and if I do I immediately have an internal freak out and forget how to converse with humans.
I am really great at talking to men in whom I have no interest. Super awesome at picking ones who ask me for my prescription drugs in case they’ll make him feel all floaty. Fantastic at attracting the ones who require intimate knowledge of my bra size before they ask my first name. (Have we talked about the drag queen yet?)
Dating is, like, really hard, you guys.
I just want someone to tell me when and where to go, meet the guy, and eventually invite our mutual friend to the reception celebrating the elopement the dude and I will have after a reasonable amount of time. And really – the elopement is optional. What is a piece of paper anyway?
Project Fixup looks at how you describe yourself (I’m into general things like comedy and The West Wing, I’d prefer a college grad and don’t want to date a smoker) and not much else. It’s refreshing, honestly. Browse through their theme dates (board games, whiskey tasting, painting) and sign up! They’ll match you with someone else (heteros and homos welcome!) who signed up for the same date.
They even have double date events. You get matched, you bring a friend, your match brings a friend. Since 2014 is the Year of Yes, I signed up. Clearly this is the sort of thing I want to do with a partner, so I conned my (only single) friend, Hailey, into trying something new with me.
Our date is set for Sunday, March 2, at 6:00pm. That is, until Friday, when Project Fixup realizes there’s actually a bowling league until 8, so we’ll have to wait until then.
Naturally, Hailey and I decide we’re going to get dinner first.